Dear whoever is in charge at Maruchan,

I’ve been eating this Shrimp Instant Lunch for two days now, and while delicious (after the addition of soy and sriracha sauces) one thing continues to miff me. Where the fuck are you getting these tiny shrimp? Are they synthetic? Are they babies? Either way that’s pretty fucked up. And by that I mean unethical, or morally reprehensible.

Sincerely,

-zac

PS: Moral flexibility is delicious!